If you're reading this blog post or listening to this episode, then just like us you were NOT one of the chosen.  Don't feel bad, though.  Nobody else was either.  Yes, the Rapture predicted by suspected Pedophile and all around crackpot Hairy Camping came and went with nary a planetary tremble.  The May 21st Rapture and Apocalypse was closely preceded by the untimely death of "Macho Man" Randy Savage, which led us to conclude that the Macho Man, in one last act of heroic selflessness, died so that he might Ascend to the Heavens and Droppeth the Elbow on the 6 lb. 11 oz. baby Jesus who was getting ready to throw The Tantrum to End All Tantrums on Planet Earth.  We predict a religion to sprout in the near future praising the Macho Name, but we are uncomfortable with the idea of priests, during communion, placing spicy meat tubes in the mouths of believers.

Weekend
"End Times" (mp3)
from "End Times"
(Slumberland Records)

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The show continues after the break with Celebrity News You Need to Know!  Arnold Scheewartzenegroe cheated on his wife of many years, Skeletor of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe Fame.  What made him fess up ten years after impregnating his housemaid?  Could it be that his love child looks exactly like Conan Jr?  With Mildred the Maid having kids that look exactly like their fathers, we are inspired to create a game called "Who's Mildred Banging Now"

In other Celebrity News You Need to Know Now Dammit! we sadly inform the Booblets y Borrachos that beloved former child actor Gary Coleman is still un-buried a full year after his death.  What do you do with a small, black, frozen child star?  Throw him on the ice for the Stanley Cup Playoffs?  (Ray's joke)

Dwarves
"The Dwarves Are Still The Best Band Ever" (mp3)
from "Born Again"
(MVD Audio)

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Gold Panda
"You" (mp3)
from "Lucky Shiner"
(Ghostly International)

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In our last segment MCLG calls in (what else is new) to inform her Patron that she is forming an alliance with Mildred the Maid, the union to be called something like "Abused Mexican Maids."  Zen tells a brief story about shoes hanging from telephone wires and we close out the show with shout outs to Biscuit Ray for his birthday, Randy the Macho Man for saving us all and Cousin Lawrence for bravery.

Cake
"Jolene" (mp3)
from "Motorcade of Generosity"
(Upbeat Records)

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Still a little hungover from Episode 38 Live from Joe's Garage, we gingerly step back into the ring with this smallish episode.  We start off by cracking open some Yuengling beer, fresh from Pennsylvania courtesy of Joe's Pop, who didn't know we stole it on our way out of Kingman.

We do a little recap of what went down two weeks ago at Joe's Dirty Thirty Birthday party.  Zen vaguely recalls downing (among other libations) a particularly nasty can of Steel Reserve and how that led to a little chunk-puking.  We talk about ping pong pinata baseball and a cockfighting DVD that almost killed the party before it even began.  Check out the commemorative T Shirt by clicking here.  Lastly, we celebrate Chuy D's drunken version of Hallelujah.  Check out the video Cousin Dave filmed below.

After the Meat Puppets play us through our first break, Maria calls in (as usual) but this time in a somewhat surly mood.  She suspects Ray has been less than faithful and so serenades him with a little "End of the Road."  After that Joe joins the live broadcast and thru the chat room exclaims rather surprisedly that he spots a couple of his Yuenglings on our desk.  Oops.  Sorry about that.  We then talk about the nervousness one might feel visiting a new house for the first time and wondering what strange smells we might encounter.  Joe must have danced through his home in a toga spreading rose petals because his home smelled fabulous with a capital F.  This leads to the image of Joe the Cherub (see album art)

We send a shout out to Jay (mediocrefatass) for posting a picture on our Facebook page (www.Facebook.com/DoubleDPodcast) of himself in a swanky Double D Podcast T shirt.  Zen then tries to tell a story about Mexican Fancy Elf Boots spotted outside an Albertson's, which Ray promptly tries to derail.  Zen perseveres and the story of the Mexican Clown Shoes makes it way out eventually.

ZZ Top plays us through our second break and then Zen relates another story, this time of a rather pathetic retired math teacher hitting on a young bank teller.  Zen vows never to become this man, instead opting to grow into the less pathetic but admittedly more creepy "Party Grandpa"  The show ends with speculation on Ray's future "Wedding of the Undead" in which Zen hopes to play some small part.

Best.  Show.  Ever.  That's a bold statement, but even with the audio being less than stellar, after listening to this one we think you'll have to agree.  Especially if you were there.

This was the first and only stop in the Double D Podcast's Spring Tour 2011.  We broadcast live from Joe's Garage in Kingman, Arizona where we were helping celebrate Joe's Dirty Thirty Birthday Bash.  Cousin Joe is a good man and a good friend and we were more than happy to pack up all the gear and set up at his house for this live remote broadcast.  If you watched it live, you know that it was a wild time.  If you missed the broadcast, just scroll down the page here for some of the video highlights.  It was so much fun and we'd like to thank all the awesome people we met there for helping make this our most memorable episode yet.

We kicked it off with a quick Amber Alert for a missing boy (actually a childhood photo of Joe we had front and center on our desk the entire podcast (see album art)) and a little talk about Ray's Mexican Wizard Beard.  We launched into our customary "What Are We Drinking?" segment . . . it was all incredible home-brewed beers that Joe is famous for crafting . . . we enjoyed an IPA, a creamy blonde ale and some jungle juice of Joe's own design called Faderade.  We briefly talked about a Mexican cockfighting video (no joke) that we watched as the party was just getting started, featuring Roosters such as Chorpy, Dr. Mateo and Luis Lopez.  It was horrible.  And by horrible we mean awesome.

Zen recalled a traumatic childhood game called "Sauce" and we calculated the PDQ at the party.  Then we listened to the first of many Roasts to be heard that night.  Jeff stepped up to the microphone to Roast Joe with stories of Slumpbusting.

After our first break Jefe Smyth (Jeff Smith of Day Old Sushi) called in to tell us he was masturbating at work.  He would have wished Joe a Happy Birthday, but he had no clue just who the hell Joe was.  After that we launched into a special version of Stump the Mexican . . . Stump Joe, Name that Tune - The Hits of 1981 Edition!  Special shout out to our 3 contestants:  Shannon, Jesus and Ryan who all whooped Joe's ass easily.

After our second break Chuy D classed up the joint by playing a sweet cover of "Lay Me Down" followed by the real meat of the podcast - The Official Roast of Joe.

Cousin Dave roasted Joe's nuts with tales of Girl Scouts and a dead Prius.

Zen roasted Joe's nuts with a Top 5 list of "Things overheard when Joe rolled the Razor"

Ryan roasted Joe's nuts with the "Too Drunk to Fish" story.

Taryn roasted Joe's nuts with the El Palacio story and Native American racism.

Josh roasted Joe's nuts with the "It wasn't me, I'm a Fisherman!" story.

And finally Steve roasted Joe's nuts with the Porsche and a young girl story.

We closed out the show with Daniel C. totally destroying our Pinata filled with Mexican Candy.  This show was a total blast and we hope you enjoy listening to it as much as we did recording it.

Salud! 

Pina Coladas are imbibed during Episode 37, and while this might seem like a puss move and you're probably yelling, "Hey, the Double D Podcast is a celebration of BEER" we did so because we were saving ourselves for Episode 38.  In hindsight, considering that this is being posted with Episode 38 done and in the can, drinking a nice, easy island fruity-fruit drink was the correct call.  Because Episode 38 from Joe's Garage was a beer maelstrom.

Before we get very far in this show, our Titular Hero, Dwight Kennkelle, calls in.  I don't know if it was the alcohol, or just a bad connection, but we heard his name as "Black Cankles" and since he didn't correct us, we ran with it the whole show.  Dwight asks advice on women and also sings a nice song for us and quickly endeared himself as one of our all time favorite callers.  We hope this is not the last we've heard from him.

We talk a little more about Ted Danson, Flagstaff's Pride and Joy, and why nobody has ever built a bar here in town called Cheers.  We compare a small town's pride in it's one claim to fame with another small town.  Winslow, Arizona has the Standin' On the Corner Park, based only on a small line in the Eagles popular song, "Take It Easy."  And no, it's not Glenn Campbell or even Glenn Frey commemorated with a statue on the corner there.  Apparently it's just some generic guitar man.

These United States
"Water & Wheat" (mp3)
from "What Lasts"
(United Interests)

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After the first break Ray introduces a new toy to the desk, his key chain Rock Em Sock Em Robot.  Zen ponders a Movie Version of this retro fighting game, which we later learned after the broadcast is the Hugh Jackman vehicle called "Real Steel."

The show is now sponsored by Miller High Life since now one of it's hosts had his life sponsored by Miller High Life to the tune of one dollar.  We entertain the notion of people sponsoring the show and having their donations acknowledged with macaroni art on the wall behind us.

We next rip into a good friend and co-worker, Shane Dween.  He has an old folks home on his route and on Fridays he can be found hanging out with the old Betties at the ice cream social.  (I wonder if he has the god-awful Rebecca Black song stuck in his head as he makes time with the old ladies?)  We talk about vibrators so old the have to be crank-started and the notion of the "Dustgasm."  Joe Fellers calls in to tell us that we are awful people.

Arrows
"Someone You Knew But You've Hardly Meet" (mp3)
from "Modern Art & Politics"
(Hobbledehoy Record Co)

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Maria Conchita Lupita Gonzales call in after the second break, as she often does, to sing another song to Ray.  This time it is her rendition of "My Girl" cleverly changed to "My Ray."  She also explains why her voice drops a couple octaves sometimes.

Next we read a selection from a Penthouse from December 1980.  It's a delightful Forum letter about a young man's encounter with a ravenous Mail Lady.  Then we close out the show with talk of VHS porn tapes and how you can recognize a porn film from the 80's and 90's.  These defining characteristics would include:  Tan Lines.  Landing Strips.  Crazy Eyes.  Leg Warmers.  Soft Focus, which helps hide the herpes outbreaks.  Lots of plot.  Panning up to the guy when he's making his "O Face"  Zen then takes us out on the wrong foot when he embarrasingly reveals how he used to use two VCRs to dub better version of porn with the "Pan up to the guys face" removed.  Last thoughts - Scrambled Porn and the Crooked Hooter Channel.  If you dont know what we mean, look at the album art this episode

The Story So Far
"Just Like You Said" (mp3)
from "While You Were Sleeping - EP"
(Pure Noise Ent.)

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An incredibly juvenile game from Zen's childhood that we're bringing back.  By the end of the party everyone was playing.  Walk up nonchalantly to your victim, start chatting them up about something inane and meaningless and just as they're starting to lose attention, grab their head, pull down and yell "Sauce!"  And then run.

It was about 2:30 in the morning.  Most of us were hammered.  We still had a pinata full of mexican candy but it was time to end the show.  What to do?

Zen roasting Joe with one of his (ahem) famous Top 5 Lists.

The first of many video highlights we'll be posting from the live mobile show broadcast from Joe's Dirty Thirty Birthday Bash at Joe's Garage in Kingman, AZ.  If you were there, relive the memories, if not then we wish you had been with us!